| family memories |
[Mar. 27th, 2006|05:12 pm] |
Isn't it sad how families that once loved eachother so much can grow so distant. My Great Aunt Hazel (gizzel) just passed away on saturday. It was my Pepe's sister-in-law who use to live at the top of the street directly across from Nana and Pepe. I remember as a child I use to always stop by and say hello to her while she read the paper. She would always say "hello Alec!" Alec that's what she always called me, she said it was the "french" way lol. As the years went on the conversations became shorter and I started hearing complaining about that side of the family. See my father's cousins also lived on the street, Anne and Dick. well Dick has a wife and two kids Ben and I forget what the other one's name, anyways the kids weren't the greatest kids in the world, arrested for stealing, drugs, dunk driving all that good stuff. And so talk started to happen between my father's family. And then Anne and her husband Mike had two kids and that brought us more together. They live right next to me. But then there were complaints about them in our family. So we kinda just stopped talking, there was the ocasional "hello" and "how are you?" but nothing big. And then my aunt hazel had a stroke and after that her memory wasn't good. She couldn't remember people's names she was kinda living in the past. It was altziemerz or however you spell it. But it was like she was stuck. She couldn't really go anywhere on her own. I had come home one day it was a monday because I remember taking in the trash and then I heard. "ANNE!! ANNE!!!" I thought it was comming from inside the house but I noticed no cars were home at my cousins house, Aunt hazel had been living there after the stroke. And I saw that there was someone laying in the driveway it was my aunt she had fallen and broken her hip, ribs, and arm. She kept saying my leg hurts and would point to her arm. I was so scared I ran over to my neighbors house and told them to call 911. And they came and everything and my mom came home from work and saw well then she went to the hospital and everything after a while was fine again and she was living in a nursing home. That was earlier this year. And I guess she was content in the nursing home she wasn't really living in the past more just forgetting things. And confusing things. Well thursday was her birthday and she died saturday morning. I feel guilty becaues my parents went to go see her last weekend but I didn't want to go so I didn't.
And now I realize that this is happening on my mom's side of the family with her brother and his wife and daughter who is 4 and is the cutest thing ever. But like we are now distant I don't know why but the phone calls every friday night stopped when my cousin was born. well around then at least. I get the ocasional call and we get the ocasional family gathering. And they come to my shows but it wasn't like how it was. The fact is my aunt is also like my 4th cousin or 3rd cousin removed shit because my grandfather was adopted well anyways we don't normally talk to that side of the family they are kinda snobs but it's ok I still love them and I believe that they love me. But it's just not the same as it was when I was younger. I miss the old days. I don't understand why this happens or how this happens. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2006|04:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nervous | ] |
"Each year Whittier Tech presents a Broadway Musical Production. Auditions are held at the beginning of the school year and are open to all students. Performances are held in the Whittier Auditorium. Past productions include a production of "Working" in 2002, and a production of "Once upon a Mattress" in 2003. Tickets are available to the public three weeks before show time. These productions would not be possible without the help and cooperation of the cast and crew and the Whittier staff. The performing arts are strongly encouraged here at Whittier."
this part of the schools website is about the whittier drama club. Notice how it hasn't been updated in 3 years and also this little part "The performing arts are strongly encouraged here at Whittier." If by "strongly encourage" they mean strongly ignore!
tonight is the first night of godspell come see it even though our cast is sick
It's at Whittier Tech High School
Friday at 7:00
Saturday at 7:00
Sunday at 2:00
tickets are 5 in advance and 7 at the door. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2006|04:27 pm] |
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YAY I GOT INTO SALEM STATE A WOO HOO AND I GOT HOUSING!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I"M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|09:37 pm] |
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I'm here to listen, I always have and always will be. |
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| WHITTIER DRAMA KIDS! |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|06:18 pm] |
I would just like to take this oppurtunity to remind all cast members that the money for the senior's and teacher's flowers/gift is going to be due by Friday, March 3rd!!! its getting really close! remember.. we're asking for $5, but you can give more or less depending on how you feel or your financial situation. We totally understand if you arent able to give any money.. so if you cant dont stress yourself out about it. But, if you can, Try to get the money to me (heather/Lucy) or alex (alex) as soon as possible (asap)...
just so you know.. we've only collected about $20 so far....
the presents and flowers we have planned are going to be AWESOME this year!!!
WOOT WHITTIER TECH PLAYAS!! i mean... playERs... yeah.. thats what i meant..
AHAHA
Thank you!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2006|07:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  shitty | ] |
I don't know whats wrong with me. This senior year pretty much sucks. And I know i'm not the only one who thinks so. Like it's not as great as I thought it would be. Sam got me thinking the other day about friends and like not seeing them anymore and how everyone is going away and I wont be able to see them. And it sucks. And like my grades are the shittiest they've ever been in high school. I've applied to one college. Count them ONE! if i don't get into Salem State with Houseing i don't know what I'm going to do. I have to get out of this house. I can't be myself here. I can't be me. I'm sick of it. Ahhhg. And I'm sick of being alone. I've gone through my entire highschool without having anyone. It sucks major ass. AHHG! I hate it. It's not what i expected it's not what I wanted. And I have not job and no license. I feel horrible asking people for rides. AHHG! I'm screwed when it comes to next year. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  LOVE (damn it) | ] |
I love my friends!! Heather, Danny, and Ricky I don't know what I'm gonna do next year. We've become so close these past 3 years. You guys are like family. You guys make me so happy when I'm down. You really know how to have fun like buying condoms, many BK visits at our usual table with the fun discussions we have. lol. I love you guys. We should make a regular movie night.
and I can't forget about sam. You have been my friend for almost 9 years. You've become not just a best friend but my sister. I love you so much.
You ARE ALL AMAZING!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|09:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
I can already tell today is going to be a boring day. Anyone feel like doing anything? I'm already really bored and it's only 9:16 in the morning. Please someone call me today with plans! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|09:15 pm] |
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I'm so scared about not getting housing at Salem State. I'm so worried. And I haven't applied anywhere else. I don't know what I'm going to do. I need to get out of this house. Ahhg I'm so scared. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2006|09:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
I had an amazing dream last night about this guy and we were dating and everything and it was great. And then I woke up and realized it wasn't real. Now I feel like poop. I wanted that dream to be real. I'm sick of being alone. I've been alone for too long. I'm sorry but it sucks being single for 4 years ok. Yeah pretty much. I mean I know I just came out of the closet last year. BUT I WANT SOMEONE! I see that practically all my friends short of a few have someone. It sucks. I want to be loved. I want to be held when I don't feel right. I want to be kissed and feel the passion. I want it but I can't find it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|08:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
I just watched and episode of Queer as Folk and Justin Was walking with his mom in a gay pride parade in the PFLAG part and I only hope my mom will except me that way. I'm so scared. I talked to ms. m she helped alot I just had a breakdown today and I needed to talk to someone. I didn't talk all day in shop. And heather I love you. And I love my Babble Girls!! because we are amazing! and I love you sam!!!!!!
I'm in a better mood! I started writing this entry then is stopped and started like 5 min later. But I still kinda feel the same it's just I'm a little happier! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|05:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
I've been stood up. I've been sitting here 3 hours late maybe I should just give up. I feel like shit!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|05:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Aqua | ] |
this one is for sam YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehe. I know i gave it to you today but I'm putting it online because I'm glad you liked it. MWAH!! I just hope it works lol
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|02:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sore | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Urinetown | ] |
Homophobia
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a
lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire
a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight
through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried
our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the
hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the
room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken
away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish
they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the
attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will
probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed
myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to
bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found
out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who
never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the
management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit
the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother
because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence
survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they
found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence
survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the
father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection
to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach
gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who
died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was
transsexual. (yes, this actually happened: read more)
I am the person who
feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to
always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending
church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my
kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most,
love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
I am the boy who wears a mask so that his family doesn't have to be ashamed.
Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2005|10:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | gay pride lol | ] |
| [ | music |
| | No Day But Today | ] |
Despite what critics say I think RENT WAS AMAZING!!!! I mean there were a few flaws about it but all and all it was amazing!!
And I'm seeing it with Heather today. And then I'm planning on seeing it again with sam. Who knows when but we are!!!! lol. |
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| Fun Night |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|09:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
so tonight I had fun with Heather, Danny, and KEERA!!!!
first Keera came to pick me up from school at 3:00 the security people were like "you have to stay in your car" and then she got out as soon as Heather, Ricky, Danny and I ran over there. And there was a belly bump between me and Keera and also a huge hug.
Ricky left and Keera, Danny, Heather and I talked for a while about a bunch of random stuff and then Keera was like well Alex and I are going to go get coffee you guys wanna come. And then we went to go get coffee but Keera had to stop for gas so we went to get the gas and she got out not knowing how to use the atm machine there and the guy was like this isn't self serv and she was like oh ok. lol and then we went to Newburyport and Keera got me a mochaccino and she got a capaccino and it tasted funny. Oh and we got a lemon square. And Heather and Danny got a hot coco and heather got a mochaccino too. And they got like this tripple chocolate piece of cake. Mind you this place was really artsy and cool. And Keera saw a friend she hasn't seen in a long time. That was cool. So after we decided to go skipping around downtown and we went to the boardwalk and had fun and reminised and took pictures. That was so much fun. And then we went sliding down the stone things there. And then we went to the Firehouse and used the bathrooms and the really powerful dryers, which by the way are so much fun! lol! anyways then we went window shopping and saw some pretty amazing dresses. And then we sat in the center where the Christmas tree was and where waiting for the lights to turn on in the trees but. We got cold so we decided to go walk back to the car but intstead we went over to the board walk again and realized we were parked in the big parking lot not there. But heather took a picture of me infront of a door that said "Stage Door" and there was this cool overhead light and i stuck my hands up and she took a picture of me and I was like "BROADWAY I MADE IT!!" it was fun. So we all went back to Keera's and we watched Josie and the Pussy Cats and we played with these fun matching cards Keera had. They were sexual position ones. The Pretzel, The Lawnmower, The Lift, Spooning, "69", Blow Job, The Scissors, Doggie Style, and something muffler diver or something. lol. They were so funny. OMG it was so much fun.
I loved tonight the only part that sucks is I lost my hat that I got in NYC with Sam. I dont know where it is. All I know is I lost it between in the car and at Keera's house. And it's no where to be found. Ahh well. Well I'm off to bed. And I didn't do my homework which sucks. I'm going to get bitched at. I dont know if I had any physics homework but oh well. Oh maybe the worksheet. Ok well night all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|03:54 pm] |
Float girls this is what the costumes should look like
 |
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| so sad |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|03:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
so today is Halloween this is the first time we really haven't decorated the yard. There are just some lit up pumkins and thats about it. It's simple. But sad. Oh well. I can tell my mom is really sad though because this is like the last time I'll be here for halloween for a while. Because I'm going off to College. It sucks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|02:34 pm] |
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I love how my dad seems to piss me off the first five minutes of me being home. What a lovely night this shall be. |
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